


BROTP

by ImagineMystrade



Series: Cliche Drabble [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Joke Fic, cliche series drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 10:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11273436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineMystrade/pseuds/ImagineMystrade
Summary: Finn and Rey are engaged and in love. So why do some people insist that they're just good pals?





	BROTP

**Author's Note:**

> This was part of my Cliche Drabble Series that I wrote in response to some nonshippers' biggest responses to why Finnrey wasn't a romantic pairing. It was meant tongue-in-cheek, and with the latest wackiness with the Han Solo movie, I decided to start posting these here.
> 
> I wrote this obviously before Kathleen Kennedy's machinations came to light. Sigh. And I have no idea why I was calling Rian Johnson "RC." I may not have known his name at the time. Also this was written well before Kelly Marie Tran was able to give info on Rose.

Rey Skywalker, one of the co-leads of the smash TV show _Galactic Skirmish_ , rushed into the boardroom clutching a hot cup of coffee in her hands. With an internal frown, she saw that she was the last to arrive. Arranged around the table were her co-stars. At a glance, she took in Poe Dameron looking pensive in a seat near the window. Next to him, Leia Organa-Solo appeared somewhat discomfited. Her father, Luke Skywalker, was at the head of the table looking into a mirror and muttering about itchy beards.

Ben Solo – who had reverted to using his stage name of Kylo Ren – was playing a discreet game of Cards Against Humanity with Armitage Hux and Phasma (“Just Phasma, love – no last name needed. Like Beyonce”). And even Han Solo was there, looking elegantly disgruntled with an unlit cigarette between his fingers, but casting longing looks at his wife when he thought she wasn’t looking.

But the most important sight to greet Rey’s eyes was that of Finn Ryder, the other co-lead of the show, and her love, light of her life, beautiful cinnamon roll. He smiled at her and patted the chair next to him that he’d saved just for her.

“It’s okay. He’s not here yet,” said Finn as Rey slid in next to him. “Apparently there was a big emergency meeting at the top.”

“What the hell is going on?”

Finn shrugged. “Nobody knows. But it has to be serious. He literally got all the talent on the show together, and we go on the press tour in three days.”

Rey mulled this with a deep frown. To the room, she asked, “Does _anyone_ know what this is about?”

“No idea.”

“Just said it was important. Maybe somebody leaked something? Again?”

Slowly, all eyes turned to Hux, who went as red as his hair.

“Jesus, are you people ever going to let that go? It was a fucking _accident_! And it’s not like the name of the base was _that_ big a deal, anyway!”

“All I know is that ** has been walking around this morning like someone put a live grenade up his ass,” said Poe. “And there’s a rumor that  _youknowwho_ is in town. On Twitter, it said –”

The door opened and ** *****s, executive producer and former director of _Galactic Skirmish_ , entered the boardroom. At his side were the new director, known most popularly as RC, and the head writer, who similarly went just by her initials, KK.

(Oddly, ** *****s, who seemed to be the most logical choice to go by simple initials, preferred to be referred to only by asterisks after a series of embarrassing directorial choices regarding the second film in a storied science-fiction franchise.)

Accompanying them was a short, old, white haired man in a suit who reminded Rey of the man on the Monopoly board. He had a small Mickey Mouse pin on his lapel and he looked vaguely disgusted by everything in his line of sight.

He glared at Luke as if he expected him to vacate the chair at the head of the table. Luke looked calmly back, his eyes challenging. Every line in his face was fairly screaming _Go ahead and try to fire me, motherfucker. I dare you. I. Dare. You._

After a silent battle, the old man averted his eyes and took a chair close to the front of the room. Luke grinned widely and mimed twirling his mustache like a cartoon villain.

Quick, anxious glances were exchanged around the table. _The Money_ had been brought in. Whatever was happening was, indeed, serious.

Clearing his throat, ** adjusted his glasses and stood with his lieutenants at the front of the room.

“Thank you all for coming. I know we do our press tour for the newest season of the show in a few days. But we have a serious problem that we all need to talk out and decide on a course of action to correct.”

He paused and his gaze went over several heads and settled where Finn and Rey were sitting together.

“Finn. Rey. I’m afraid news of your engagement has leaked. It’s all over the Internet. Apparently, there are pictures of you on one knee, Finn, of the ring, and of you and Rey hugging and kissing.”

Finn cursed under his breath. “I _knew_ that guy wasn’t really delivering pizza!”

“Paparazzi,” said Jessika Pava, shaking her head in disgust. “The bane of our existence.”

Rey, while angry that a private, and beautiful, moment of her life had been captured by some random mercenary photog and splashed all over the Internet, nevertheless was not quite sure what ** was getting at.

“Okay … so people know Finn and I are engaged. I’m not sure what the problem is. Do you think it’ll be a distraction on the press tour?”

“Fuck. That’s a good point.” Finn chewed his lip in thought. “Maybe we should just issue a statement through our publicist, say that yes the news is true, that we’re over the moon, which is also true …”

He gave Rey a soppy smile and she smiled back, her cheeks reddening. There was a soft chorus of “Awww”s all around the table.

“… But that we value our privacy and that this is the only statement we have to make. Give the press their marching orders, no questions about me and Rey outside the show or about the engagement.”

Finn looked at ** with an earnest smile. 

“Some of them will still try to sneak in a question or two but that should at least head them off at the pass, right?”

“I’m afraid the press knowing is not the only problem.” ** adjusted his dark, faux-retro glasses again. “The biggest problem is the fans.”

“The fans?”

“Of the show. Well, a surprisingly large demographic of them,” he said. “They have issued a call to boycott this coming season of Galactic Skirmish. **#FuckoffGS** is already trending on Twitter. There’s also a petition.”

“People want to boycott the show?” Rey’s eyes were enormous. “Why?”

“Because you and Finn are engaged.” ** paused. “And they think that’s … wrong.”

Finn and Rey looked at each other in alarm. There was a low, uneasy buzz around the table. Even Mr. Moneybags II looked concerned.

“Wrong … why?”

“Because they also feel that this might pave the way for your characters on the show to also get engaged.”

“Wait, but isn’t that what’s going to happen?” asked Leia. “In the season finale, you see Finn walking into that jewelry store on Corellia …”

“Right, but the popular fan theory was that Finn was actually going to buy a gift for that character we haven’t introduced yet, but who a lot of people seem to think is going to be Finn’s new girlfriend on the show.”

“But you haven’t released the name of that character yet,” pointed out Kylo Ren.

“Or any other information about her at all,” added Phasma. “Why would fans think Finn’s character would be buying an _engagement_ ring for her?”

“Some of the fan theories are … yeah,” said KK. “But ** is right. It’s not everyone in the GS fandom making this sort of noise, but these fans are very vocal and some of the news sites are picking it up because they know the press tour is about to begin.”

“They’ve sent us a petition,” said **. “They believe your engagement is a hoax to throw off the real direction the show is going to take as far as romance, and they want the both of you to come out and say as much.”

Finn and Rey burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, are you serious? Are _they_ serious?”

“Yes, they’re serious.” ** was not laughing. “They said they were willing to overlook this ‘stunt,’ as they call your engagement, because it was an ‘obvious sham,’ but that now they want assurances that you two are _not_ getting married and that your characters will _not_ be getting married, either. Otherwise, they will organize a mass boycott. Obviously, the negative press will be devastating this close to the tour.”

Rey felt a slow anger bubbling up inside her.

“**, look, I love our fans, but this is ridiculous. Finn and I have lives – and anyway, our characters _are_ in love with each other!”

“Yes, this is what I don’t understand.” This came from Mr. Moneybags II. “Are these people watching the same show I am? They have seen the characters hugging, correct? Kissing? Telling each other that they love each other?”

“Yes, sir,” said RC, respectfully. “They have seen all that. But even still, an absurdly large fanbase still considers Finn and Rey’s characters to be a BROTP.”

“A what?”

“BROTP, sir.”

The old man looked confused. “Isn’t that one of those hippity-hop songs? About infidelity, if I recall my grandson’s musical tastes.”

“No, sir, you’re thinking of **OPP** , a rap song released by the rap group Naughty By Nature in 1991,” said **. “An OTP – one true pairing – is fandom slang for the couple that fans believe belong together above all others. However, a _BROTP_ indicates something very different. It refers to a sibling-like relationship or one of close friends, as ‘bro,’ in this case, is derived from the slang for good friends. ‘They’re just bros,’ etc. People who see Finn and Rey as a BROTP are saying that they feel that their relationship is solely on a platonic footing.”

“OTP? BROTP?” Mr. Moneybags II grumbled. “Young people love these silly acronyms these days. Is this the work of those … those SWVs? The ones who go around yelling on the Internet that everything is sexist, racist, homophobic and all that other claptrap? I thought they’d disappeared ages ago!”

“No, sir, I think you mean **SJW** s,” said RC. “Social-Justice Warriors are the people who discuss real issues that are related to race, gender, class, and inequality. **SWV** was an R &B group formed in 1990 out of New York City. They broke up in 1998, but got back together seven years later.”

“Whoever,” said the old man. “This is nonsense. If these people think that our stars are related, which they aren’t, then we simply issue a statement that they are _not_ in fact related and so there can be no BROTP.”

“Sir, they know Finn and Rey are not related,” said KK. “That’s … not really their point. They feel that their interactions on the _show_ are strictly platonic.”

“Well that’s balderdash! Do you know how many letters my office got after the episode where the two of them …” His voice dropped to almost a whisper. “… are implied to have actually made whoopee in that cave on the Hoth homeworld? I know there wasn’t any actual hanky-panky shown, but having relations is simply _not_ a platonic activity.”

“ _We_ all know that sir, but a large portion of fandom is either choosing to misinterpret or ignore those events.” KK looked frustrated. “They simply will not look at the large amount of evidence we’ve given them that the bond between Finn and Rey’s characters is, in fact, deeply romantic.”

“The point is,” said **, “We’re facing a huge backlash at the press tour. We’ve been given a list of demands by this section of the fandom.”

“Demands?” Han barked out a laugh. “Goddamn, I’m glad I got killed off. Speaking of, why’m I here anyway?”

“Because you’re coming back as a non-Spiritworld Ghost in the season finale. We’ll be filming the reshoots next week. Didn’t your agent tell you?”

“Maybe. Me and Chewy were helpin’ Maz move to her new place this week. Cell reception’s bad in that area.”

“We contacted your people two months ago!”

Han mumbled something unintelligible. Leia looked at her estranged husband with a smile that blended fondness and exasperation. Ben “Kylo Ren” Solo rolled his eyes.

“At any rate, their demands, apart from Finn and Rey disavowing their engagement, is that Finn be married immediately to the new character who no one knows anything about, _and_ that Rey and Kylo Ren become a couple.”

“ _What_?” Rey and Kylo chorused in horror.

Hux looked outraged. Luke looked murderous. Leia looked sickened. Han just shook his head as if wishing he really _had_ been impaled in the season finale.

“Um, Kylo’s character and mine are cousins in the show,” said Rey. “And Kylo and I are _cousins in real life_! I know the fans know that! We literally spelled it out for them in the last episode! They expect my character to fall in love with her own _cousin_? And they expect _me_ to have love scenes with my own _real life cousin_?”

“Incest is in vogue,” said Phasma, shrugging. “These days, people find it hot for whatever reason. I mean, look at the other show I’m on. We have brothers and sisters boning, and no one even blinks …”

“Hell no. It’s not happening.” Finn glared briefly at **. “I don’t care what the fans want. They’re gonna have to deal. Disavow our engagement? _Fuck no._ ”

“Young man, this franchise cannot fail,” said Mr. Moneybags II. “I agree that what you and Miss Skywalker do in your private lives is your business. But I can’t ignore this groundswell by these fans. Social media is everywhere and one wrong move and we have another _I Didn’t Do It_ on our hands.”

 _“_ I’m _not_ going to kiss my own cousin,” said Rey, gritting her teeth. “And I don’t think my character would _ever_ want Kylo’s, even if they _weren’t_ related! He’s tried to kill her, what, like five times? And has personally slaughtered dozens of innocent people! Why would anyone think that’s the guy to take home to mom? Especially when you have someone like Finn’s character, who, by the way, literally pulled my character out of a building fire only  _minutes after meeting her?_ ”

“Well, it’s fairly certain that the whole thing is predicated on racial prejud-” KK began, but ** broke in, shushing her and gesticulating wildly toward Mr. Moneybags II.

“Shh! Shhhhh! No mention of the ‘r’ word. We agreed. It … muddies the waters.” ** looked nervous. “We don’t want a repeat of the whole #BlackHurricaneSoldier mess, do we?”

“Anyway, the long and short of it is,” continued RC, “we are going to have to do something to appease the fans, while still maintaining our artistic integrity. I agree that a romance between Rey and Kylo’s characters would be inadvisable, and, in several parts of the country, illegal. So that’s out. But we have to get the fans on our side. They may be completely incapable of discerning nuance, story structure and character dynamics, but they put money in our pockets and we have to give them something.”

“Well, what?” Finn asked. “If me and Rey aren’t going to lie and say we’re just friends offscreen and you’re not going to break up her character and mine _onscreen_ , then what is it you’re thinking of doing?”

“Us? Nothing. It’s out of our hands.” RC glanced at Mr Moneybags II. “The studio decided to bring in a consultant.”

** went to the middle of the room and switched on the intercom. 

“Fred? Tell him he can come in now.”

There was a tick of silence and then the door opened. All heads swiveled round and there were audible gasps as a white haired, white-bearded man in wirerims and a USC Film School T-shirt entered with a large stack of papers in his hands.

Every face around the table wore similar looks of fear and horror.

 _Youknowwho_ had arrived.

**, KK and RC all looked grim, but Mr. Moneybags II beamed, stood up and went to the newcomer with his hand outstretched.

“George, you’re looking well. Thank you so much for coming on such short notice.”

“Of course. I knew you’d need me again, sooner or later.”

The smug smile deepened as he looked at everyone gathered together.

“I’ve been looking at the past few scripts. I’ve got my work cut out for me.” He held up the stack of papers and cackled softly. “But I have a ton of great ideas …”

END


End file.
